By most measurements, my first year teaching was a disaster. My room was more of a war zone than a classroom for the first four months. Fights would break out, few kids paid any attention to me, and my discipline plan consisted of pleading with and bribing kids to sit down, be quiet, and for the love of God, just fill out the dang worksheet!

I have vivid memories of driving home from work feeling like I sucked because no one learned anything, and everyone hated me. Based on the district's measurement tools (textbooks, district pacing guides, benchmark assessments), I was right.

Fortunately, I was paired with a solid mentor, took a bunch of professional development, and watched the movie, Dangerous Minds over and over. I got a leather jacket, bought a bunch of candy bars, and things got better, but I closed out that year feeling like a failure.

Years later, I was working at the district office and got a call from the grandmother of one of my students, TJ, from that first year. She told me that TJ had gone through some rough times, but he was getting ready to graduate from high school and was going to college. She wanted to invite me to his graduation party because she credited me with "changing his life."

"I'm sorry. I believe you have the wrong teacher." I remembered that TJ was in my class, but I could not have possibly had a positive impact on him.

She told me that during a time when he felt no one loved him, I did. That’s it. ❤️

I sat at my desk stunned. I wish I had known the impact I was making on him all of those evenings driving home feeling like I had failed. I was using the wrong assessment to judge myself. But I wasn't empowered to use any other measures to gauge progress.

You are.

If you are not feeling joy and energy around what you are doing, I encourage you, beg you, to re-think the measures you are using to gauge your success. If you need some help in that area, these are two great articles:

How To Set Goals That Will Increase Your Happiness (for everyone)

Getting to Know Students Deeply (for teachers)

Don't wait for someone to tell you that you are making a difference somewhere in the future. Use measures that matter to affirm yourself and keep on keeping on.

Oh, and if you haven't seen Dangerous Minds, don't. It doesn't hold up, but its title song, Gangsters Paradise, does!

Leadership and Learning